Everything is coming at me so fast now . Reality just isn’t fair at all . I got school tuition to pay , insurance , and a shit load of bills of things that I buy . I can say , for the most part , that I am somewhat lost or confused right now . The fact that I hate everything at the moment just doesn’t seem to comply to what life really is . The way I see it , nothing ever seems to fall into place where everything is in equilibrium with no rule of order or justification . Life is just handed to you everything at once … And I hate it . I honestly do . The fact that I’m still in Virginia doesn’t help at all . My body is still here but my heart is already in Cali . I don’t know how but I one day I fucking promise that I’m gonna be successful . I’m gonna wake up one day in Cali steady career and just livin life . Fuck it , I’m going places and doing something big . One day .